It's Not Easy Being Mayor
by GlassSuicune
Summary: Mayor Prairie explains why you don't wanna live in Megaville... Unless you're someone who likes insanity of this caliber. Second story in my Megaville series.
1. Chapter 1

It's Not Easy Being Mayor by GlassSuicune

Note: MegaMan X, Zero, ZX, Battle Network, and StarForce belong to Capcom. I wrote this mostly out of boredom, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. It's just a little 'commentary' on the town of Megaville, the obvious setting of my Megaville stories, told by the mayor of the town. Her thoughts are in _italics_.

_This is Megaville..._

_It's a relatively unnoticed town in the middle of absolutely nowhere._

_The people that live here, well, how we go unnoticed is a mystery..._

_My name is Prairie, and I'm the mayor of this little town._

_We're a literal time paradox..._

Lan Hikari and Geo Stelar stared at each other blankly, noticing the other looked vaguely like themselves. Finally, the two boys asked each other, "Who in Bananaville are you?" Hub and Omega-Xis were staring at each other, wondering what the heck was going on with the two Humans.

_...and plot holes are around every corner!_

Girouette threw the newspaper in front of each house, whistling the whole way. Omega suddenly came out to get the paper, and Zero ( who was in his ORIGINAL body) did the same. Both Reploids picked up the respective paper, waved at each other, then ran into their houses, as if nothing was amiss.

_We have people who vacuum their lawn..._

Elpizo walked around his front yard, vacuuming the grass. X was staring at him absolutely dumb struck from across the street, before shrugging and going back to whatever he was doing. Elpizo ignored the stares he was getting from other people and continued, promptly sucking up a screaming frog without noticing. Well, maybe that's why he vacuums the lawn...

_...and mow their carpets._

Ciel blinked, as Elpizo came inside and turned the lawn mower on, cutting up his carpet and subsequently, the wooden floor. Ciel mouthed the phrase 'Are you stupid', but did nothing to stop the Reploid. He probably had his reasons...

_UFOs also come once every month..._

Axl and Lumine were standing outside Colbor's ice cream shop, each holding a sign. Axl's said 'The aliens will come today', while Lumine's said 'The aliens will come tomorrow'. All of a sudden, Lumine was caught up in a beam of light courtesy of a UFO, and disappeared. The UFO then flew away. Axl then burst out into maniacal laughter. "HA! I WAS RIGHT!" he screamed. He then shrieked and ran as Colbor grabbed a broom and ran out of the shop. "How many times do I have to tell you to quit loitering?" the angry shop owner screamed.

_Why the aliens are interested in us, I'll never know. Now, there was something else that had to do with space, but I can't seem to remember what it was..._

Grey took a sip of his lemonade as he sat on one of the lawn chairs, relaxing. Ashe and Model A looked upward, and Ashe's pupils suddenly shrank, while Model A did whatever the Biometal equivalent was. The two then hurriedly left the area, not even bothering to tell Grey what was going on. He looked at them quizzically, then shrugged and continued doing nothing. Suddenly, a satellite slammed into the ground right next to him, sending him and the chair airborne. "Woo!" Acid Ace could be heard screaming, "I got one!"

_Oh yeah. Satellites can be shot down at any time. And meteors occasionally crash, too._

"METEORS ARE ATTACKING!" Bud Bison screamed, running around in terror, as meteors headed towards the town. "We are so doomed..." Eugene Chaud groaned. Suddenly, the Four Guardians ran outside, each with some kind of cannon. "Don't worry!" Harpuia cried, "We've got this under control!" Right as he and his siblings were about to fire, the meteors hit...and were the size of harmless pebbles. All that freaking out for nothing.

_And we also have our very own haunted house..._

"You go in." Patrick Sprigs said bluntly, trying to get his other personality Rey to take over. _"No, you go in."_ Rey replied, not wanting to go inside either.

"But I insist! Go in!"

"_Oh no,_ I _insist!_ You _go in!"_

Vent and Aile stared at Patrick like he was some kind of freak. Finally, the two ran inside the haunted house, while Patrick and Rey continued to argue. The two MegaMen came running out screaming their heads off about five seconds later, some monster with a pumpkin for a head chasing them out.

_...You'd think such people would know to stay away from that house by now... Oh but wait, there's more..._

The UFO suddenly came back and returned Lumine, who promptly ran across the street screaming his head off, while carrying the Reploid equivalent to a brain, which just so happened to be HIS. MegaMan X, Zero, and Axl watched this absolutely dumb struck, all of them thinking the same exact thing:

He has a brain?

Clearly, the Maverick Hunters were overwhelmed by this stunning revelation.

_I know it may seem huge, but I can handle it._

As Lumine ran around like a freak, a car was suddenly blown up by an RPG. "Ha!" Prometheus cried triumphantly, holding the darn thing, "Take that Master Albert!" Craft suddenly walked up to the Grim Reaper. "Ya did it all wrong!" he chastised, pulling out another RPG. He then fired it with stunning accuracy at another car. When it hit, the car flipped and crashed into a building, which burst into flames soon after. Solo and Mayl ran out of the building with their hair on fire, screaming the whole way. "And that's how you do it." Craft said bluntly, patting Prometheus on the head, before walking off. The purple MegaMan blinked, absolutely dumb struck.

_Really._

Note: And there ya have it. Review please? To be honest, I don't think this really encapsulated all the sheer craziness of the Megaville neighborhood, but meh, I did my best.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: MegaMan belongs to Capcom. I had originally planned for this to be only one chapter, but after reading GreenVirus' review, and seeing how I recently got more ideas, I've decided to make this more than one chapter. I think I'll keep it open so if I want to, I can always add more mayhem. Kudos to anyone who figures out the reference in Prairie's opening comment.

_...You're still here? Well, if you insist on staying longer, here's some more things you'll want to know... While most towns have too many pesky animals, IRS agents, and those crazy kids that shoot fireworks at four in the morning, we have..._

"FEAR US!" Sigma yelled, as Vile promptly set some random building ablaze. "Not again!" Solo and Mayl both screamed, running out of the building with their hair on fire. Afterwards, numerous electronic devices began going haywire and immediately burst into flames, scaring Lumine away, making Sigma and Vile look at him in disdain.

_...Mavericks and Viruses..._

"Don't worry everyone!" Lan and Geo both cried, "I'll stop the Viruses!" The two boys then noticed each other and screamed, "Wah! Why are you here?" Hub and Omega-Xis opted to play rock-paper-scissors. "Whichever of us wins gets to go Virus-busting." Omega-Xis said bluntly. "Right." Hub agreed. Meanwhile, X and Zero promptly tackled Sigma and Vile, causing all four Reploids to tumble right into the garbage truck. Axl and Lumine were both devastated.

_...Moving on. Oh yeah, then there's your friendly neighborhood mailman._

Hirondelle looked to the left and right, swallowing hard. Finally, he cautiously walked up to the house, pulling out a few envelopes.

"GET OFF OF MY LAWN YOU FOOLISH REPLOID!"

Hirondelle quickly jammed the envelopes into the mailbox and ran for the hills as Dr. Weil ran after him, carrying a tranquilizer gun ( one that worked on Reploids, by the way). Everyone else joined in the pursuit of the poor mailman. "That's IT!" Hirondelle could be heard screaming, "I QUIT!"

_And if you like libraries...avoid ours at all costs..._

Harpuia carefully pulled the book off the shelf, examining the cover. It depicted numerous Greek monsters, including the Harpy. Harpuia then opened the book...

...And was promptly grabbed by one of the snakes on Medusa's head, and was then pulled into the book.

Fefnir, Phantom, and Leviathan did not hear their brother scream in terror. They didn't even notice he was gone.

_Movies you say? Oh yeah, we got 'em..._

Vent and Aile stared long and hard at the movie posters, while Girouette asked a rather appropriate question:

"Why are Alien, Alvin and the Chipmunks, How to Train Your Dragon, and Frankenstein all playing at this theater? Those movies weren't released...oh never mind..."

It was Vent's turn to ask a question: "Um... Alien's been playing here two years... Why is that?"

Then Aile's turn to ask her own question: "Is there a reason the sign says 'Free popcorn any-day-other-than-today' every single day?"

_...But whoever runs the theater really likes being late with practically every movie save one per year, really, _really_ likes watching people's reaction to Alien, and absolutely refuses to ever give free popcorn... Now, everyone who lives here also has very unique opinions on the weather..._

"Hey Lumine!" Chaud yelled, dressed in summer attire, "It's a million degrees out here! Are you trying to melt yourself?" Lumine blinked, covered head to toe in winter gear. "It's too cold!" he fought back. Ciel and Elpizo, who were dressed for normal weather, watched the two. "Feels fine to us." Elpizo promptly said, and he and Ciel were on their merry way. X and Zero could be seen wearing jackets, like it was autumn or something. Meanwhile, Grey and Ashe were dressed in rain-coats and carrying umbrellas. The weather was bright and sunny, to those who are wondering just what the weather was.

_...and apparently are not afraid to wear the clothes to prove it. And then there's this..._

Pandora stared at the burning flower bed, then her dangerous gaze turned to her brother, who was fidgeting nervously, like he had committed a crime and was about to spill his guts. "Believe me Sis!" Prometheus suddenly screamed, cracking from the sheer pressure, "I swear, I _watered_ the flower bed! HONEST! I don't know how this happened!" Pandora narrowed her eyes, skeptical.

_This brings to mind something I've heard people say. For some things..._

The flames suddenly grew huge, startling Prometheus and Pandora ( more like scaring the pants off the former; he knew very well he was guilty of this). The flames then consumed the house in less than five seconds, leaving the two Reploids miraculously unharmed and dumb struck. Pandora then regained her senses and clenched both of her fists, her knuckles looking very white for some reason. Prometheus swallowed hard. "Would it help if I said I was really, _really_ sorry and that I'll never do it again?" he asked, trying in vain to smile innocently.

Everyone in the neighborhood could hear Prometheus screaming in terror, running away from a very, _very_ angry Pandora.

_...there's just no excuse._

Note: ...And there ya have it. O.O


End file.
